WHAT ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FROM RELATIONSHIPS?
Of recent, I've paid more attention to my relationships with people.
In December I broke up with my last boyfriend, and as it reaches a month of us not being together anymore, I have realised a lot.
Not just things that I should have picked on earlier in the relationship but also things with friends.
I am an only child, and that affects my relationships, in a sense that I sometimes expect more than people are willing to give in friendships. I hope for love and selflessness, and in all honesty, things I would have gotten had I had a sibling.
I am coming to realise that it is unfair to put these expectations on others and then get upset when they are not met. You will most likely not find one person who will satisfy every aspect of your life; some friends only want to be with you for your talent, vibe, intelligence, dress sense, spirit, looks, so they don't feel lonely e.t.c.
It is never nice to hear or admit it, but I bet if you looked a little deeper into your friendships most of them have superficial origins. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it is just a part of life, and I need to accept that.
I get lonely sometimes, and it would be a lot easier to pretend one person could single-handedly brighten these moments but even I don't believe that to be true. From now on I will look at my relationships as a cake and those in my life as its ingredients. Some more important than others and each relevant for a particular reason but most importantly I need to work on my relationship with myself and slowly get to a place where I don't expect the world from others and can see loneliness as something other than negative.
I don't think I can be solely responsible for my happiness, but I would like to contribute more than I currently do. I don’t know when I will get there or how long it will take, but I will keep working on my relationship with myself until I am more wholesome so I don’t expect people to fill gaps in my life but instead share energy and radiate more life from each other. That seems like a healthier place to be, and I want to be there. Have you had this experience before? What helped you?
Please feel free to let me know.