"Overwhelming" by Amarachi Onwuachu

I reached out to new Mum Amarachi and asked her to share her experience of motherhood so far, this is what she had to say.

I would say I don’t have the words.
I don’t have the words to describe this, not in any way that anyone who hasn’t experienced it could possibly understand.
I would stutter when anybody posed the question. 
Yet when asked to write a piece about it I grew determined to find the words. 
Because how beautiful would it be if I did find them. Or at least one.

So how does it feel to be a new mum?

The past three months have been overwhelming.
At first, the adjustment was overwhelming, moving from just the two of us to a family of three.
Our attention shifted to our tiny human, all of our energy invested in her. 
The lack of sleep and breastfeeding challenges were overwhelming. 
Continuously saved by the dry sense of humour that fatigue brings out in the both of us. The weight of the responsibility, overwhelming. 
Every decision seems so important to make. It’s been more intense than I ever imagined it to be.

The love in her eyes is overwhelming, so is the gratitude I feel.
Every new development fills me with excitement and pride. 
Her cooing showcasing strong vocal expression, and her kicks evidence of physical strength. 
Her bright smile reason to pick her up and sing of how precious she is, all while tears fill up my eyes. 
I must have given her a million kisses. The love I have for her is overwhelming. 
It is already more beautiful than I ever imagined it to be.

As told by Jasmine O