DEALING WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME IN YOUR 20S
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Most people start to question their lives, their decisions and their goals in their twenties. It's when most of us have our first jobs, graduate from university, decide on a career path, get into committed relationships etc
Most big decisions we make start in our twenties.
Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where you doubt your accomplishments and have an underlying feeling that you will at some point be exposed as a fraud. Our world is riddled with pluralistic ignorance - we don't share our struggles and somewhat understandably only share our triumphs, what that creates is a sort of lonesomeness where we feel as though we are the only ones who have difficult experiences. This leads us to feel like the reason we struggle as much as we do is because we are undeserving regardless of how much work, dedication or sacrifice we might have put in - that is imposter syndrome.
It is sadly something that most of us will have felt at some point and will probably feel especially as women because we are taught to downplay our achievements and act small.
I am no expert but here is how I’m learning to push through my imposter syndrome
- Remember you are where you are for a reason. You have worked to be where you are, hard work is often rewarded with success so take a moment to acknowledge this.
- Do not let others downplay your achievements, you don't have to brag to let people know you deserve to be where you are, if you feel uncomfortable doing so remove yourself from those situations because no matter how strong you are, words are powerful and deeply penetrative.
- Everyone makes mistakes. They don't define you, they are often learning curves. They are not signals of incompetence just opportunities to improve.
- Try to establish a good relationship with self, everything we do - how we feel, how we react, is a manifestation of deeper feelings we harness. Actively taking steps and doing the work to know yourself, be comfortable with yourself and love yourself will make you better equipped to deal with not only imposter syndrome but life in general.
- Talk about it, Martina shared her struggles with imposter syndrome on a recent post on her Instagram and prior to this I didn't realise anyone I knew had experienced this and not only did it mean we could discuss it, but it also inspired me to write this post which I hope inspires you all.